In last week’s blog post we explored the effects of constantly focusing on our weaknesses instead of our strengths. We also looked at the tendency to focus on weaknesses across cultures and age groups. While the tendency to focus on our faults varied across cultures, interestingly enough, there was a noticeable decrease in this tendency among older people (ages 55 and older) across cultures. Perhaps they have come to understand the futility of focusing on faults and instead have learned to embrace and focus on their strengths.
A Focus on Faults
Why do so many people waste time trying to fix themselves and others? Weaknesses are fascinating and strangely mesmerizing, like watching characters in soap operas and on reality TV shows. The attraction lies in the fact we deeply fear our weaknesses, our failures, and even our authentic selves.
The human brain is wired to pay attention to fear and danger. However, if you do not investigate your strengths you will miss out on becoming who you are really meant to be.
Strengths vs. Weaknesses
Often a strength can be a weakness, and vice versa, a weakness can be a strength. Here are some characteristics to watch for in yourself and in the people you work with.
(Sources: Peter Urs Bender’s Guide to Strengths and Weaknesses of Personality Types, & Brinkman, Rick, and Kirschner, Rick (2002), Dealing with People You Can’t Stand: How to Bring Outthe Best in People at Their Worst, 2nd ed. McGraw-Hill.)
The Courage to Use Your Strengths
Most of us take our talents for granted. They are so embedded in us, we aren’t aware of them. We assume everyone else is just as capable. This way of thinking excludes developing and becoming stronger and more brilliant. You can’t develop what you don’t recognize.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure…We ask ourselves, `Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world.”
– Marianne Williamson, spiritual teacher
The first step for self-improvement is to identify your strengths. WorKuno.com offers a free online strengths test, and the book StrengthsFinder2.0 includes the Gallup assessment. Several excellent books can walk you through the self-assessment process:
1. Now, Discover Your Strengths by Marcus Buckingham and Donald Clifton
2. StrengthsFinder 2.0 by Tom Rath
3. Go Put Your Strengths to Work: 6 Powerful Steps to Outstanding Performance by Marcus Buckingham
4. Strengths Based Leadership: Great Leaders, Teams and Why People Follow by Tom Rath and Barry Conchie
Once your five top strengths are identified, you can examine how they manifest in your life. It may be easier to develop your strengths by working with a professional coach. A coach can help you to identify your talents and strengths and then work on expanding them, putting them into deliberate practice with action steps.
Discovering your strengths is the path toward personal improvement and success. When you pay attention to your deficits and try to overcome them, you over-emphasize your weaknesses. You wind up living a second-rate version of someone else’s life rather than a world-class version of your own.
If you would like some guidance along the path to discovering and embracing your strengths, I would be happy to assist you. As always, I would love to hear from you. I can be reached here or on LinkedIn.
