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If you think in-depth, you probably find that your tendency to overthink is both a strength and a weakness.
You may desire to retain the benefits of thoughtfulness while eliminating the self-defeating aspects of overthinking.
Attempt one of these three techniques to achieve that. Choose whichever strategy naturally appeals to you.
1. Execute once, then optimize.
Try taking this approach: Whenever you do anything for the first time, don't try to optimize it. Instead, adopt the approach that you will execute once, with basic thinking, then optimize your approach the second and subsequent times you do whatever it is.
For example, I recently decided to buy a choline supplement. I got bogged down in factors like which brand to buy, which dose, which form, where to buy it from, and when. By employing the execute once approach, I selected an acceptable option, aware that I could obsess about the best choice during my next purchase.
The benefits? You'll make quicker decisions, and probably learn more through your experience than from delaying.
2. Put your thoughts in a suitcase.
Anxiety tries to be helpful by not allowing us to forget about potential threats. It nags us by knock, knock, knocking to remind us of our worries and insecurities.
For example, filling out child development questionnaires on my baby's milestones was stressing me out. I wanted to tell the pediatrician I didn't want to do them but was worried she would think I was being neglectful. In reality, I'm hypervigilant about milestones; I didn't need the questionnaires to make me even more so.
If you try to stop having a thought, anxiety tends to just get louder. However, what can sometimes work is imagining putting that thought aside somewhere safe where you won't forget about it. The imagery I like is to imagine putting my worries in a suitcase, and then carrying it but not interacting with it.
This technique can create sufficient psychological distance from thoughts, enabling me to make more skillful choices in my actions. In this case, there was no reason to expect the pediatrician, who has always been supportive, would think I was being neglectful—and in fact, she reacted supportively again when I broached this topic.
3. Reflect on the benefits of both impulsive and well-thought-out decisions.
Remember I said at the outset that overthinking is both a strength and a weakness? People who overthink tend to be very willing to engage in meta-cognition, that is, thinking about their thinking. You can use that to your advantage here.
THE BASICS
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Try thinking of examples of good decisions you and others have made. What actions have led to awesome outcomes for you and other people you know?
Next, reflect on whether these were always well-thought-out decisions. In Stress-Free Productivity, I wrote about how some of my best decisions weren't very well thought through. For example, I've put less research into house purchases than into some minor decisions, and yet these house purchases have turned out to be some of my best decisions. I also put relatively minimal thought into choosing a Ph.D. advisor, and yet that worked out wonderfully.
Sometimes good decisions are the result of exhaustive research and accurate perceptions, but not always. Other factors, like serendipity, or meeting the right person at the right time, can be influential too.
When you see this diverse pattern, it can help free you up. Overthinking is not the sole path to success. Engaging in random conversations, acting on instinct or impulse, or exploring topics that trigger your curiosity, even when you should be focused elsewhere, can also yield positive outcomes.
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Sometimes it's enough to recognize that you currently don't overthink every decision, and that can work out fine, and even well. You can begin to see yourself as someone who sometimes overthinks, but not always.
It's important not to be ashamed of overthinking. I'm being genuine when I say that it's both an important strength and a frustrating weakness. Acknowledge the benefits of thinking deeply, but also master skills to dial it back when that is advantageous. This will give you maximum flexibility, lower stress, and the best results.
How did this article change your view of overthinking? What strategy are you excited to try?
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