I loved my Barbies. I had multiple versions of Mattel’s classic doll – and her car, her boat, pop-open closet case, a gazillion outfits, and her Dreamhouse, which arrived like manna from heaven through the birthdays and Christmases of my childhood. My friends and I lost ourselves for hours playing out the grown-up storylines of our dolls. Just like millions of other kids around the globe.
Since she first arrived in 1959, Barbie has been a stage where kids (mostly girls, but not always) work out the rules of the adult world and their future roles in it.
I am confident my set of big-chested, impossibly small-waisted Barbies were the first rung on my ladder to anorexia. As the teenage Sasha in Greta Gerwig’s bold (and hilarious) film “Barbie” tells the title character: “You’ve been making women feel bad about themselves since you were invented.”
And yet, my Barbie collection was also the first rung on the ladder to a decidedly feminist adult worldview. Barbies, the boxes they came in assured us, could be astronaughts. And if they could be astronauts why not doctors, leaders, even the president (as they would be for my daughter). By 6th grade, I believed I could be an astronaut too – no small perspective shift for a girl born in the role-confusing 60s.
Still confusing
Or 2020s, for that matter, as the film makes clear.
In it, Barbie Land is a dazzlingly pink place, a movie set-like world where pretty blonde Sterotypical Barbie (a sparkling yet nuanced Margot Robbie) enjoys a life that is all sunshine, joy, and female empowerment. In these Elysian fields, Supreme Court justices are always women – and always named Barbie. So too are the president, authors, doctors, and the carved faces on Mount Rushmore. The men are just side-kicks – chipper cheerleaders for the Barbies.
In playing out this reversal of traditional male-female roles, the film states its message: sexism in any direction is destructive.
“I came into the movie theater expecting a hype-me-up Barbie movie — just about Barbie. It was more about how women in society are treated today, but they switched the roles of men and women. It showcases the issues in today’s society and has powerful messages,” Lena, my 13-year-old niece, said of the film.
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Tackling big issues
Here I am making the film sound heavy. Which is why Gerwig, highly regarded for her ability to go deep through humor and quirk, directed the film and not me.
With sets, costumes and accessories that are perfect life-size replicas of the Barbie toy empire and a plot that sends Barbie and Ken (a hilarious Ryan Gosling) on an eye-opening adventure into the real world, Gerwig colors in the lines of her message with a lot of silliness and, well, child’s play. She centers the story not only on the anthropomorphized dolls but on the humans who once loved them. While deftly addressing societal sexism, Gerwig’s “Barbie” speaks to struggling mother-daughter relationships – and offers hope.
“A lot of people were crying, and it was a powerful movie, particularly for mothers,” Lena said. “Go see it with your mom! It gives young girls more understanding and respect for moms.”
The film is rated PG-13 for suggestive references, some adult humor, and some words that parents might deem inappropriate for younger kids. I didn’t catch any curse words, which feels impossible in a PG-13 film these days but the lude comments made by real world men to Barbie were alarming. Be ready to discuss this behavior. I could go with the Common Sense Media age rating of 11 and up for mature 11-year-olds. Younger kids may not understand the innuendo that led to the PG-13, but they’ll love the setting, the color, and the fun beyond it.
Story in a nutshell
The plot is easy enough to follow. In a highly abbreviated nutshell, Barbie learns she has somehow opened a portal from Barbie Land to The Real World. She must go there and try to set things right. Ken tags along. Barbie finds the problem. Ken finds patriarchy – and likes it. Chaos ensues as patriarchy tries to unseat feminism to rule Barbie Land.
“Barbie” is about the expectations placed on women by the world, themselves, and even by the toys they play with. The monologue delivered by Gloria (a riveting America Ferraro) was a heart-stopper and the soul of the movie. It held rapt most of those seated around me, including a 14-year-old West Seattleite.
“The whole speech about being a woman was so empowering and so true,” said Alexandra Stafie. “It was impressive that she explained the hard parts about being a mom/woman in all of 5 minutes. Also, I didn’t expect the movie to go like [it did]. I thought the CEO was going to be bad and the whole movie was going to be about Barbie repairing her relationship with the younger girl, Sasha.”
THE MOM SPEECH
Gloria to Barbie: “It is literally impossible to be a woman. You are so beautiful and so smart, and it kills me that you don’t think you’re good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow we’re always doing it wrong . . . I’m just so tired of watching myself and every single other woman tie herself into knots so that people will like us. And if all of that is also true for a doll just representing women, then I don’t even know.”
My take: Even if your teens (male or female) don’t see the film, offer them Gloria’s full speech as a gift of truth and an inspiration to be the change. Read it here, ironically, by Cosmopolitan.Then after reading it Google “why gloria’s speech resonates” to expand the discussion.
Understanding through reversal
Sabina Stafie, 12 and also from West Seattle, said she too appreciated the film’s grappling with questions of gender, idealization and power — “For example, when Ken and Barbie went into the real world, Barbie was treated with a different kind of praise then she was used to, while for Ken this was a dream come true to get attention for what he looked like.” Editor’s note: the catcalls and unwanted touch Barbie were sexual harassment.
“In both worlds, only one gender had power,” she added. “I liked how the movie showed that woman should have power and, vice versa, men could also have their own (although it went to the extreme). Ideally, in the real world, woman and men could have the same power and share decisions and the outcomes of those decisions.”
Take it to the dinner table
In the end, the film is also about self-discovery. About leaving comforts behind. About accepting change. In all its quirk and pink curly slides, I believe it can lead to deep conversations between kids and parents about equality, fighting sexism, and discovering – and living – one’s truth. My now adult daughter thought so too:
“The movie was good clean fun, bring your sons and daughters but be prepared to have to explain some stuff! I think 11 or 12 is the right age,” she told me.
In Kris Stafie’s house they did just that. Stafie is mom to Alex and Sabina.
“I thought each character was really just trying to find themselves and have agency for their own lives,” Stafie said. “The humor, scenery, costumes, music and sometimes just silly moments really all worked well together. I would highly recommend it for parents to see with their kids and have a discussion after of what their takeaways were of the movie. It led to a really great discussion in our house!
More at Seattles Child:
Ruby Gillman, Teenage Kraken: A fun and colorful adventure
The Secret Kingdom is a fantasy epic that pre-teens will relish
SIFF 2023 family-friendly films
